Embracing the Unknown: Your Leap into a New Chapter

Let's be honest: Change is never easy.

After 3 years of being stuck in a loop, constantly watching my hairline recede, I knew something had to give.

My emotions were tied to my hair, and if I didn't take control over it, my hair would end up controlling me.

Something had to change!

The way I think maybe?

Yes - in the beginning that is important.

But thinking only got me to a certain point.

I knew that shaving my head was the right choice. Eventually, it would liberate me from feeling insecure. But knowing that is only half the battle, right?

Going through a season of change can be terrifying.

But I realized something crucial:

If you're unhappy with your current situation, change is the only way to get where you want to be.

Now, why does changing our looks - shaving the head in particular - feel so intimidating?

And what does an empty hallway have to do with it?

Liminality: The eerie in-between state of change

How does these images make you feel?

How would you feel if you were there?

Uncomfortable? Disoriented? Wanting to get out?

As random as these pictures may seem - they can help us understand why we tend to feel discomfort in a season of change.

What you are looking at are examples of liminal spaces - more specifically: physical liminal spaces.

Liminality (lat. limen = treshold) describes the state of transition between "no longer" and "not yet".

It's an "in-between" state.

The lack of context and purpose of being "in-between" can lead to feeling confused, disoriented and lost.

Being in a liminal space means you’re neither fully here nor there.

It’s a transitional phase, meant to be passed through.

An empty parking lot, a long hallway in a hotel or an underpass all serve that purpose.

Yet, when you remove them from their context—like simply walking from the lobby to your hotel room—they take on an eerie feeling, as if something is off.

You don't know what to expect or where this will transition will lead you.

You feel uncertain.

Liminal spaces aren't just physical. They exist on an emotional level too.

All major transitions between two stages in life - weddings, funerals, graduation ceremonies - can be emotionally charged.

And shaving your head is no different.

There is a life before and a life after the pivotal moment.

But in that in-between phase, we often feel lost and confused, unsure of what to expect from the next chapter.

This uncertainty can even make us question if we want to change at all.

When I thought about shaving my head, I asked myself:

• "Do I really want to make such a bold move?"

• “Maybe it’s too big of a change—things are going just fine as they are.”

When faced with uncertainty, doubting our own intuitions is normal.

Actually, it's a behavior rooted in the early age of human evolution.

Our brains (sometimes) helpful intentions

The element of uncertainty is the main reason why we struggle with change.

And if You are uncertain about the consequences of shaving your head right now - don't worry.

This is normal.

(I've been uncertain for three years!)

From an evolutionary perspective, uncertainty is actually a good thing!

It has been vital for our survival by keeping us alert and cautious in dangerous situations.

If we weren't certain whether the animal in front of us was a tame house cat or a mountain lion we would've been in big trouble.

To protect us, our brain defaults into a negative bias, automatically preparing for the worst when the outcome is unclear.

We can still feel that negative bias today, when facing major life changes - shaving your head being one of them.

You may be uncertain about ...

• ...whether you will like the bald look or not.

• ...how other people might react to it.

• ...feeling regret or relief after the shave.

Again, this is your brain doing it's job.

In an effort to help, it excels at filling the gaps with possible negative outcomes.

• "Probably my head has a weird shape."

• "My family and friends are going to be shocked!"

• "If I don't like the bald look I'm going to regret this so bad - it takes forever to regrow my hair"

All these thoughts are making the change a lot harder.

The longer your stay in that indecisive state of transition, the more discomfort you will feel.

(Remember the empty parking lot. You wouldn't want to hang out there for too long, would you?)

Let's discuss what can help dealing with feelings of uncertainty.

Stop Expecting the Worst, Start Embracing Uncertainty

1. Neutral Reframing

I've mentioned reframing in a previous module and I will bring it up again in this one.

Simply because I'm not only convinced of it's effectiveness when facing a problem but also of its usefulness in everday life.

Reframing isn't just positive thinking and believing "everything is gonna be alright".

Reframing is about:

• Taking a step back and to create distance between you and the issue

• Exploring different perspectives and finding new angles to look at the issue

• Finding the viewpoint that enables you to better deal with the issue

Note that a reframe doesn't always have to be positive.

Finding a more neutral way of looking at your issue can already ease your worry.

When you feel uncertain about shaving your head, your brain will want you to focus on the worst possible outcomes.

A more neutral reframe could be:

2. Turning Fear into Exciting

Anxiety and excitement both trigger the same areas in our brain: the amygdala and the hippocampus.

Knowing this, you can trick your brain into having that "fear reaction" it wants to have while your perception of it is much different.

turns into:

turns into:

turns into:

Internalizing these more excited, anticipatory and positive statements can help you ease the accompanying fears.

3. Fading Effect Bias

I am not arguing that change is uncomfortable.

Especially the "in-between" state, when we cannot see where the transition will take us, can be hard to endure.

When facing major life changes, we often fixate on the uncertainty of the future—frequently imagining the worst-case scenario.

But looking back on our past experiences, the pivotal moments we went through often seem to have ultimately worked out “for the better".

That is because of the fading effect bias.

Our brains tend to focus on negative feelings in the moment, but over time, unpleasant emotions fade more quickly than pleasant ones.

That is why change feels uncomfortable now, but in retrospective, often turns out as a net-positive.